What's The Point ? - Wimbledon

There are many so-called ‘experts’ when it comes to betting. TV pundits, telephone tipsters, the chap sat behind you in the pub. Some of them probably know their stuff but none will be as bad as our ‘anti-expert’.

We have found a person who understands so little about sport he was once asked if he knew the rules of football. He also thinks Colin Montgomerie is Welsh.

Every month we will give him £10 to waste on a big sporting event so long as he explains his fuzzy logic. It’s not meant to be insightful or clever. Just enjoy the ramblings of a simpleton. And whatever you do – DON’T back his selection.

What’s the Point? - Wimbledon

Strawberries and cream, rain and perennial British disappointment, yes it is once again time for some tennis. Once every four years this premier tennis competition takes place in Wembley stadium, where players compete for the chance to meet Princess Michael and, if they are very lucky, a singalong with Cliff.

Tennis is a game I have some familiarity with, having played numerous times whilst I was working abroad. The key aim of those matches was to avoid treading in any of the cat poo which was liberally spread across the pitch, which although slightly unsavoury did add a certain frisson to the contest. As with most sports I had a 100% record, never winning a match over the entire year. But I was able to keep my trainers clean.

Playing tennis requires quick feet, a keen eye and in the women’s game, the ability to emit a loud grunt. For these reasons it is not a game the Brits excel in, and not since clothing tycoon Fred Perry thought he’d give tennis a go in his spare time has there been a British champion. But as with Eurovision, it is British money which keeps the sport going and so for the good of the game one British player is allowed through to the later stages to keep interest up. For many years this privileged position was held by Tim Henman, who was an internationally recognised expert at dragging out matches for as long as possible and adding tension to what should have been run of the mill games. For his services to his country and the game ‘Tiny Tim’ was knighted and had a mound of earth named after him. 

Today, and as part of the devolution agreement, this role has been handed over to Scot Andy Murray. Famous for hating the English and showing off his biceps, this was a controversial decision. So far however he has played the role admirably - and we can look forward to a protracted progression through to the quarter finals. However once he has got the UK viewing public sufficiently excited, his work will be done and he will quietly drop out. At 6/1 to win the competition he therefore represents terrible value, and should be avoided.

A further curiosity of the game can help us narrow the field further. In most sports, to keep things competitive the rules are designed so that the best play the best. For example, the best football teams are promoted to tougher leagues, the fastest horses have to be ridden by fat jockeys and good golf players are in some way handicapped - which I imagine could include things like playing blindfolded or with no shoes.

In tennis you may be surprised to learn that they take exactly the opposite approach, using a system called ‘seedy’. The best players are known as the most seedy, and are given even more chance to win by only playing the worst players - who are not seedy at all. Because of this huge advantage, you would be absolutely mad not to bet on one of the two most seedy players, Rafael Nadal (who also has a bicep fetish) at 9/4 or Roger Federer at 13/5.

Therefore I am going to plump for Jo-Wilfried Tsonga at 40/1. You may not have heard of him, but he is really stirring things up in the tennis world - he just lost to Murray, who commentated that ‘He was playing a different sport to me in the first two sets’. I don’t know what sport that was, but anyone with the confidence to try and win a tennis match by playing a different game, even if it was something similar like badminton, deserves my backing.

Tip: Jo-Wilfried Tsonga to win Wimbledon at 40/1 with Betfred.